Our Shellfish Desires Read online

  Whatever you want. I’ll give it to you. I’ll give you everything you want. Right there on the floor, I would have taken you—

  “Yeah. Please, please, please. Fuck.” Alexander kept pushing inside of himself, grunting from the stretch but too desperate to care. The pressure was amazing, and he was getting so close. His face was hot, his heart pounding, and he wanted to come.

  All I want is to be inside of you. I want you more than anything. Rota’s tentacles glided over Alexander’s hips, cool and feathery.

  It was such a tease, and Alexander should have asked him to stop. Trying to touch while they did this could be dangerous, but he told himself they wouldn’t get too carried away.

  It would be fine.

  I want to feel you quiver around me, to hear your moans as we make love, to taste the seed you spill as I make you quake—

  “Fuck me!” Alexander growled, his eyes flashing open to glare in Rota’s direction. “I want you to fuck me! Down on the dirty damn floor, until my back, mmm, until my back is scuffed up and—”

  Yes! My love, Alexander. I will. I will fuck you until you’re aching and dripping with my seed. I will fuck you until you’re weak from screaming in passion—

  “Fuck yeah! Give it to me!” Alexander pushed his fingers deeper, holding them there and making himself cry out, his hand a blur on his cock. Rota’s tentacles were writhing, hugging his hips and thighs with pressure beyond the usual faint sensation. It should have been concerning, but Alexander was too close to care.

  He was right there, he could taste it, and his muscles twisted up, readying to melt in climax.

  Yes, I will! I will give all I am! I will fuck you until you know nothing but screaming my name! Rota’s tentacles tightened down, and the sudden force crushed Alexander’s hip.

  “Fuck! Rota!” Alexander yelped in pain, grabbing the sides of the tub and fighting back tears.

  Alexander! No! I’m so sorry! I—

  Alexander held up his hand, unable to speak. Stop, stop, stop! Don’t touch me! Just give me a fuckin’ second!

  I love you… I’m so sorry… I didn’t mean to….

  Sensing Rota’s retreat, Alexander summoned him back with a thought of his own: I need you. He focused on the bond, guiding Rota’s magic through his fingers to heal his hip. It wasn’t broken, but there would certainly be a terrible bruise if he didn’t take care of it quickly.

  Rota’s guilt was washing through Alexander in waves, and he was clearly struggling to hold the emotion back.

  Any sensual desire forgotten, Alexander’s cock wilted, and he tried not to be angry. It could have been so much worse. He held his hand on his hip until the pain faded and he slumped down in the water. His heart was still thudding, and his balls were complaining from the abrupt denial.

  Do you…. Do you want to try again? I can leave.

  “No. No, you can’t.” Alexander knew Rota meant that he could distance himself to give him some privacy, but he didn’t see the point. The mood was lost, and he was angry at himself for getting so caught up that he didn’t tell Rota to back off.

  I’m sorry.

  “I know.” Alexander put his hand back up on the side of the tub, thinking his next words since it was difficult to speak them. I’m not mad at you. I’m mad at all of this. I want you more than anything, and I’m sick of trying. I’m sick of being hurt—

  I’m here. I love you. Rota hesitantly touched Alexander’s fingers, a cool whisper of sensation. Tomorrow we’re going to see Ollie. He will read the book. We’ll find the Fountain and reclaim what is rightfully mine.

  “And then we’ll fuck?” Alexander attempted a smile.

  Yes. Rota smiled. As many times as you can possibly handle. Even on the floor, if you want.

  “Yeah. Definitely on the floor.”

  I love you.

  “Love you too.”

  The ache in Alexander’s heart lingered long after the frustration of not coming faded, and it was still hurting after he finished his bath and lay down to sleep.

  Seven years was a long time to wait. It was a long time to yearn for something so close and yet so out of reach, but now it was right within their grasp. The book was the key to everything, and Alexander dared to hope he would be holding Rota in his arms soon.

  He knew sex wasn’t everything in a relationship, but being denied it was maddening. It wasn’t as if they’d actually chosen to have a celibate romance. Their situation was out of their control, and Alexander longed for a physical connection. Alexander could have taken others to bed, Rota had even given him leave to, but Alexander had refused.

  He didn’t know if he’d ever been with anyone before he was taken by Gronoch. He couldn’t remember, but as far as he was concerned, Rota was going to be his first and last.

  Soon, Rota promised. I will be.

  Alexander drifted off into a restless sleep with those words rattling around in his head. He didn’t dream, thankfully, and was able to rest without interruption. When he woke up, he was out of bed and getting dressed before Rota even finished saying good morning.

  It was time to go see Ollie.

  Alexander grabbed the book and put it in the inner pocket of his trench coat. The pocket was enchanted, a spell of Alexander’s own design, and it could have held a small car. He directed Rota to take them over to Ollie’s apartment complex, popping up right in front of his door. He could sense powerful protection wards surrounding the frame, and he snorted, reaching out to break them so they could enter.

  Knock!

  “Why?”

  It’s the polite thing to do. We need his help. People don’t like helping other people if they break into their homes.

  “Starkiller helped us.”

  He is an exception. My point still stands.

  “Fine!” Alexander rolled his eyes and banged on the door, thinking, This is so dumb.

  I know you’re impatient—

  “I prefer eager.”

  —but we should try to make a good first impression, all right?

  “Whatever. Fine. Good impression. All over it.”

  The door opened, and Alexander’s heart stopped.

  Standing on the other side was the most beautiful man he’d ever seen. Alexander said a silent thank-you to all the gods, because the man was shirtless, and his body was sculpted perfection. His skin was fair with smatterings of freckles across his face, chest, and shoulders. Alexander didn’t know people looked like this outside of movies and TV.

  There was a thick scar over his sternum that had a silver gleam to it, and his eyes were light, maybe hazel or green. His hair was a dark orange, currently arrayed in a haphazard curly mop that indicated he’d recently woken up. His nose was round, his lips full, and when he smiled—still sleepy and a bit crooked—Alexander blushed.

  Attractive, is he?

  Oh, for fuck’s sake. Get out of my head. Ignoring Rota, Alexander said quickly, “Oleander Logue? I’m—”

  Ollie happened to glance behind Alexander, and when he did, instant recognition and terror seized him. He screamed, his eyes rolled back, and he crumpled to the floor in a heap.

  “Well, shit.”

  Oh dear.

  “How’s that for a first impression?”

  Chapter 2.

  AFTER BREAKING the wards, Alexander let himself into the apartment and shut the door behind him. He stared down at the unconscious Ollie and sighed.

  “Well, this is off to a great start.”

  What do you think set him off?

  “No idea.” Alexander glanced around the apartment, wrinkling his nose.

  It was a mess.

  Every conceivable surface was packed with herbs and trinkets, and the wicker furniture had certainly seen better days. The windows were decorated with colorful wind chimes and Sagittarian totems, and it was impossible to escape the fermented scent of alcohol and stale cigarettes. Empty bottles and fast-food containers cluttered what little space wasn’t taken up by the magical baubles, and there wa
s a suspicious pile of crumpled tissues beside the couch.

  “Charming.” Alexander stepped over Ollie’s body and took a seat in a high-back wicker chair.

  Should we wake him up?

  “Take a look around first. Those wards on the door? Those were a god’s, don’t you think?”

  Yes.

  “If he knows Starkiller, maybe Azaethoth put them there.” Alexander glanced back, using Rota’s magic to scan Ollie with a perception spell. There was something odd in Ollie’s aura. “Huh. What is that?”

  A spark of some kind? It does look a bit godly. Maybe he is the one who made the wards. Hmm… I’ll be right back. Rota roamed through the apartment to explore.

  “I’ll be here.” When Alexander felt Rota was far enough away, he peeked around the chair again to look at Ollie.

  Still unconscious and sprawled out on his back.

  Ollie’s expression was peaceful, and Alexander got caught up watching his broad chest rise and fall.

  Cheeks burning, he quickly turned back around. He was being ridiculous. It was probably leftover frustration from last night, and he tried as hard as he could to smother it out. He sensed Rota returning and asked, “Anything?”

  Nothing. He is definitely a Sage… and perhaps a bit of a lush.

  “No shit.”

  What now?

  “Let’s wake him up.” Alexander sent Rota over to rouse Ollie, and he reached into his pocket for a cigarette.

  Judging by the packed ashtray, Ollie wouldn’t mind.

  Not that it would have stopped Alexander.

  He raised one of Rota’s tentacles with his hand to light his cigarette, flinching when Ollie screamed.

  Oh, he’s awake!

  “Fuck yeah, I’m awake!” Ollie shouted as he scrambled across the floor. “What the fucking fuck?”

  Wait. Alexander bolted to his feet and stalked toward Ollie. He can hear you?

  Apparently.

  “And see you!” Ollie snapped. “You big weird fuckin’ spikey god dude!”

  “How?” Alexander held his cigarette between his teeth, and he reached for Ollie with Rota’s tentacles, seeking to probe his body for answers. The perception spell hadn’t revealed much, but perhaps if he looked deeper….

  Other than Sloane, who had been touched by Great Azaethoth himself, and Gronoch, who had helped create the bond, no one else could see or hear Rota unless Rota revealed himself.

  “Nope, nope, nope! Fuck you!” Ollie threw his arms up, and something came over him. It was a shield, glowing and bright, and it completely surrounded him in a bubble. “You keep all those squirmy bits away from me!”

  Rota’s tentacles could not break through it. That was unexpected. Alexander concentrated, using his fingers to focus Rota’s magic and find a way to shatter it like he had done with the wards.

  What is this magic? It’s most curious.

  “Who the fuck are you people?” Ollie demanded.

  My name is Rota, and this is Alexander.

  “Hi.” Alexander forced a smile. He kept trying to break the shield, but he took one hand back to puff on his cigarette and flick the ashes.

  “What do you want with me?” Ollie had squeezed his eyes closed, and the shield didn’t budge. “I swear, if you’re thinking about stabbing me, I am gonna be so mad!”

  Alexander didn’t understand what Ollie was talking about or why he couldn’t break the shield. It reminded him of one Gronoch had used to imprison Azaethoth and their sister Galgareth.

  But Ollie was mortal and only a weak water discipline from what Alexander could see.

  This shield was definitely godly.

  That should have been impossible.

  “We need your help translating a book,” Alexander replied shortly. There wasn’t any reason to beat around the bush. “Starkiller referred us to you. We knocked, you screamed, and then you passed out.”

  “Starkiller?” Ollie peeked up at Alexander. “You know Sloane?”

  “Yes.”

  He’s a friend, Rota offered.

  Barely, Alexander thought grumpily.

  “Okay. Back up those tentacles, okay? Right now!” Ollie managed an indignant glare. “Or else.”

  “Or else what?” Alexander couldn’t help but scoff, though he did withdraw Rota’s tentacles to a respectful distance.

  “I’ve got Sloane plus two gods on speed dial, and I will not hesitate to call them to come kick your little ass!” Ollie narrowed his eyes, staring at Rota. “How… how are you doing this? How come you’re not all squished up in Alexander?”

  I am only the soul of a god who was forced from my body. I do not possess my physical vessel at this time.

  Ollie looked to Alexander, and the shield suddenly dropped. He was gawking now with a mix of horror and pity. “Those marks…. Oh fuck. That is o-fahfah-cially the craziest shit I’ve ever seen.” He tilted his head. “Okay, no, not compared to the cult who wanted to sacrifice me or how you’re actually supposed to put Pez in the little dispenser, but close.”

  Resisting the urge to probe him with Rota’s magic, Alexander tried again, “Tell me how you’re doing this.”

  “I have starsight.”

  Alexander flinched.

  Oh, that just made things much more interesting.

  Magic was classified in a modern system inspired by Lucian beliefs that divided abilities into the four elements and a fifth that encompassed and surpassed them all called divine. Sages referred to this special and rare magic as being touched by starlight.

  Sloane was one such witch, and he had also been blessed by Great Azaethoth with a sword of starlight that made him into Starkiller, a mortal who could kill a god.

  Gifts like starsight were another blessing from the gods and equally rare, and the abilities ranged from being able to talk to the dead to seeing the future.

  What piqued Alexander’s interest was the knowledge that such a person who had been blessed by one of the gods could serve as an additional host to Rota. It was how they’d been able to share their one and only kiss, when Sloane offered his body for Rota to take over.

  Normally, Rota couldn’t possess another body because of how he was bound to Alexander. But someone who had this rare blessing could supersede the limitation and share a soul as Sloane had done for them.

  It had something to do with a loophole for the tentacle orgies the gods used to have with mortals, and suddenly all Alexander could think about was Rota taking Ollie’s stunning body and—

  “Uh, hello. Didn’t Sloane tell you?” Ollie cleared his throat. “I mean, isn’t that why you’re here?”

  “He said you were a translator.” Alexander willed away his scandalous thoughts and glanced beside him, where he sensed Rota hovering. I don’t remember anything about starsight.

  Neither do I, Rota said. I imagine this is the gift of seeing all that is hidden, the Eyes of Yeris.

  “Yeah, that thing.” Ollie hugged himself. “Long story, but, uh, yeah, I got a big ol’ case of it. I pretty much see everything.”

  And the shield?

  “Well. Uh.” Ollie fidgeted. “I didn’t know any super strong protection spells, and I needed one.”

  So, what was hidden to you became seen?

  “Yeah.” Ollie kept his body facing Alexander and Rota as he stood, and he backed toward the couch. “It’s not exactly the most predictable thing, but it usually pops up when I need something. I don’t really know how to use it. I drink so much because I see way scary weird crap, but it’s better than the drugs, and wow, I cannot stop talking right now.” He sat abruptly. “Uh. So. You guys are a Silenced dude with the soul of a god bound to him?”

  “Yes.” Alexander blinked.

  How fascinating! Rota sounded delighted. Of all the gifts of starsight, the Eyes of Yeris is certainly the most rare. This is extraordinary.

  “Okay. Cool. Cool. That’s cool.” Ollie fumbled for a pack of cigarettes wedged in the cushions. “So, how about I read whatever it is you want me to rea
d and you can leave?”

  “Sounds great.” Alexander sat back in the chair and pulled the book from his coat. He pushed some trash off the coffee table and set it down, then took a long drag from his cigarette. “That’s it.”

  “Right. On it.” Ollie tried to light up, but his hands were shaking.

  Alexander sent one of Rota’s tentacles over to light it for him, and he couldn’t help but gawk again.

  Yes, this was extremely important, but Ollie was nice to look at. More than nice—he was gorgeous. Alexander was fighting like hell to keep any and all sexual thoughts out of his head, and it was very difficult.

  Especially since Ollie having starsight meant….

  No, no, no, no. Alexander puffed away, hoping Ollie wasn’t actively listening.

  “Thanks.” Ollie inhaled deep from his now lit cigarette and opened the book. He squinted, took another drag, and looked around on the floor.

  “What?” Alexander asked.

  “This works better if I’m not… sober.” Ollie picked through the garbage to find a bottle of clear alcohol that had about a third left in it. He tipped it back and polished it right off.

  Alexander was drawn to the bob of Ollie’s throat and the flex of the muscles in his arm as he chugged, and he hated how red his face was getting.

  It’s okay, Rota soothed. I’m thinking the same thing.

  Like with Starkiller?

  Perhaps we could ask—

  No, no, no, no!

  Ollie gave no indication he heard anything, and he dropped the emptied bottle. “Okay! Here we go. Which part do you want read?”

  “The whole thing,” Alexander replied. “We have part of a translation key for Babbeth’s tongue. Can’t you just zip through this?”

  “No.” Ollie grimaced. “That’s not how this works. A key isn’t gonna help. First of all, I’m a terrible reader. Just because I know what it says doesn’t mean I can read it quickly! A book this size could take me days!”

  “Days?” Alexander gritted his teeth.