Insquidious Devotion Read online

  Table of Contents

  Blurb

  Chapter 1.

  Chapter 2.

  Chapter 3.

  Chapter 4.

  Chapter 5.

  Chapter 6.

  Chapter 7.

  Chapter 8.

  Chapter 9.

  Chapter 10.

  Chapter 11.

  Chapter 12.

  Chapter 13.

  Chapter 14.

  Chapter 15.

  Read More

  About the Author

  By K.L. Hiers

  More from K.L. Hiers

  Visit Dreamspinner Press

  Copyright

  Insquidious Devotion

  By K.L. Hiers

  Between raising a tiny demigoddess and their private investigation business, Sloane Beaumont and his husband, Loch, have their hands and tentacles full. Unfortunately, they still have to save the world—again.

  Sloane and Loch are on their way to a mysterious crime scene when an old god named Cleus attacks. It’s the latest in a long list of potentially apocalyptic crises, and that’s not a coincidence. While some people just want to watch the world burn, local cultists are determined to strike the match. If their plan to awaken an evil god succeeds, they’ll get their wish.

  With victims magically drowning left and right and the revelation that the old gods are real leading the public into mass panic, Sloane and Loch must gather their friends and family—and a shady local gangster—to solve the mystery and defeat new dangers. But the biggest threat may be one they never saw coming…

  Chapter 1.

  “SO,” SLOANE drawled, his hands on his hips as he stared his husband and daughter down, “what have we learned today?”

  “Ah! I know this one!” Loch grinned. “Not to make crème brûlée when you’re home.”

  Pandora, their infant daughter, gurgled in what appeared to be agreement.

  “No.” Sloane shook his head.

  “Hmm.” Loch frowned. “Not to make crème brûlée while you’re sleeping?”

  “We have learned to make crème brûlée never.”

  Part of the kitchen was still smoking—the perils of a god and a little demigoddess trying to cook together were many.

  “I was able to put out the flames,” Loch complained, “and the damage to the cabinets can easily be repaired.”

  “And what about our daughter? She could have been burned!”

  “Ah! I have recently discovered that Pandora is quite fond of fire.” Loch tilted his head. “As in, I discovered this about ten minutes before you woke up from your nap. Hmm, and there was something else I was going to tell you….”

  Pandora wiggled out of Loch’s lap where they’d been cuddling on the sofa, and she waddled over to Sloane. Although she wasn’t quite four months old, she was as big as a one-year-old, had two front teeth right on top, and she could walk quite well. She had curly red hair like Loch, but her eyes were brown like Sloane’s.

  She also had Sloane’s very thick eyebrows, brows that Loch often described as luscious, beautiful, legendary, and a plethora of other exciting adjectives.

  Sloane bent over to pick Pandora up, but he immediately recoiled when her hands burst into flames. “By all the gods!”

  Pandora giggled and waved her flaming hands excitedly.

  “No! Young lady! Absolutely not!” Sloane grabbed Pandora around her middle and blew out her hands, quickly checking them for any sign of injury.

  Fussing, Pandora swatted at Sloane.

  “Ah, that was the other thing I meant to tell you!” Loch grinned sheepishly. “She is also quite flame-resistant.”

  “Seriously?” Sloane groaned. “We were already worried about babyproofing, and now we need to fireproof too?”

  Pandora’s hands were warm but otherwise seemed fine.

  Sloane knew that life with an old god was going to be interesting, but he could have never prepared himself for the adventure of raising a child together.

  Especially a child who had tentacles like her father and a penchant for mischief.

  And fire now, apparently.

  “Oh, my beautiful husband. Fear not.” Loch waved his hand at the kitchen, and all evidence of the fiery disaster vanished. He stood to join Sloane and hugged him with Pandora between them, wrapping them up with a thick bundle of grayish-blue tentacles.

  Pandora grabbed for one of the tentacles, her hands morphing into long purple tentacles of her own and curling around Loch’s. She immediately pulled his tentacle into her mouth and began to gnaw on it.

  “I will cast fire protection wards all over the apartment,” Loch promised. “Nothing will catch fire here again, I swear to you.”

  “Probably should have done that a while ago.” Sloane smirked.

  Loch gasped. “Is that a slight directed at my cooking ability?”

  “Just a tiny one.”

  “Hmmph.”

  Sloane leaned his forehead against Loch’s, cuddling Pandora as he said, “Seriously. I just worry. Being a new parent is hard enough without having to freak out every ten minutes that she’s learned some new kind of magic. What if she opens a portal?”

  “Then we will go find her.” Loch smiled. “She does have a watchman’s spell on her, you know.”

  “What if she tries to summon bees?”

  “You don’t summon bees,” Loch soothed. “You have to ask for their assistance in smiting your enemies. We’ve been over this before, my sweet husband.”

  Sloane groaned.

  “I am Azaethoth the Lesser. I am an ancient, handsome, and powerful god. You are a Starkiller with the most gorgeous, luscious eyebrows in the universe. We have saved the world countless times and defeated many demented members of my family. I love you, and I know we can do anything together.” Loch kissed Sloane’s brow firmly. “Even this.”

  Sloane’s heart fluttered, and he actually felt a little bit better.

  They’d been through worse, after all.

  Crazy cultists, murderous gods, and even that one time Loch lost his body at the post office.

  “Thank you.” Sloane kissed Loch sweetly. “You’re right.”

  “I know.”

  “She’s growing so freakin’ fast and getting into absolutely everything, not to mention also terrifying me at every turn. But—” Sloane took a deep breath. “—we can totally do this.”

  “Of course we can.” Loch beamed. “We can—ow!” He pouted, pulling the tentacle Pandora had been mouthing on away. “Hey! That is not for eating.”

  “What happened?” Sloane asked.

  “She bit me.” Loch sighed. “She has more teeth.”

  “Already?” Sloane tried to peek into Pandora’s mouth.

  Pandora grinned and offered a flash of a few shiny little teeth peeking out from her bottom gums to match the two on top.

  “Well, then.” Sloane cradled Pandora against his chest and kissed her cheeks. “I guess that means it’s time to work on getting some baby food, huh?”

  “Ah! I will prepare our daughter’s sustenance, thank you.” Loch turned up his nose. “Say what you will about my culinary abilities, but I am more than capable of providing for her.”

  “Uh-huh.” Sloane headed into the kitchen. It still smelled a little burnt. He reached into the fridge to grab a bottle of formula, a special godly variety that Loch’s mother, Urilith, made for them.

  “You doubt me?” Loch followed him, pouting now.

  “Only a tiny bit.” Sloane chuckled as he heated up the bottle with a swipe of his thumb. “I think it’s very sweet, but are you really sure you can do all that? She’s probably going to eat a lot, isn’t she?”

  “Most likely, based on her exponential growth, but it will not be a problem.” Loch gri
nned.

  “Because you’re a god?”

  “Yes, because I’m a god.”

  Sloane rolled his eyes and offered the bottle to Pandora, cooing, “Your daddy is very silly. Don’t worry. I’ll get you some baby food from the store.”

  “Oh! How you wound me!” Loch clutched his chest.

  Sloane’s cell phone rang.

  “I’ll make it up to you.” Sloane scrambled to reach into his pocket while holding Pandora and the bottle.

  “Here.” Loch gently took her from Sloane as he chided, “Your father is a cruel, cruel man. Don’t ever forget that, my darling spawn.”

  Pandora gurgled in reply.

  Sloane chuckled as he retrieved his phone from his pocket. “Beaumont Investigations, how may I help you?”

  “Hey, Sloane!” Milo Evans’s voice greeted him.

  “Hey, Milo!”

  Milo was Sloane’s best friend from college and former coworker at the Archersville Police Department. Milo’s girlfriend, Lynnette, was expecting their first child any day now. They were a few of the small group of people who knew that Loch was actually a god and the true nature of Pandora’s birth.

  The exclusive circle was affectionately known as the Super Secret Sage Club. They knew that the Sagittarian faith had been right all along, and that while some of the old gods were still deep asleep in the dreaming in Zebulon, some were here on Aeon with them.

  Sloane was married to one, of course, and he’d met many members of Loch’s family. Loch’s mother, uncle, and sister were all quite sane, but his brothers….

  That was a different story.

  “Everything okay?” Sloane asked. “How’s Lynnette? Ready to pop yet?”

  “Yeah!” Milo laughed. “She’s okay! Super huge and beautiful and ready. Technically she’s not due until next week, but I think she’s ready to send our new kiddo an eviction notice. How are you and the rest of the godly brood? How’s my little Panda Bear?”

  “Oh, you know. The usual.” Sloane glanced back at Loch and Pandora with a smile. “Setting fires, trying to burn down the apartment. Ah, and Panda has more teeth now. We’re up to four.”

  “Already? Sheesh!” Milo laughed. “She’s gonna be headed off to college soon!”

  “Right? It’s crazy.” Sloane didn’t mind having a casual chat with Milo, but it was a little odd for him to be calling in the middle of the day while he was at work. “So, what’s up?”

  “Yeah. Uh.” Milo’s voice dropped to a conspiratorial whisper. “We have got some high-level weirdness going on down here. Like, definite cultist-type shenanigans.”

  Sloane’s stomach flopped. “Seriously?” He frowned at Loch and put the phone on speaker. “What’s going on?”

  “Chase and Merrick had this super freaky case a while back where one of the cultists drowned in the alley behind Dead to Rites. Like, drowned in salt water. From the ocean.”

  “Okay, yeah. I remember Chase saying something about that when we were looking for Nathaniel Ware. Dead to Rites was one of the places that Nathaniel’s sister told us to go look for him at.”

  “Right. Well, that drowning case went cold, but then it happened again.”

  “Another drowning?”

  “Yeah. Last week. And well, then it happened again just today.”

  Loch’s brow creased with concern, and he asked loudly, “Were there any butlers in the vicinity?”

  “Uh, no,” Milo replied. “Look, we think it’s Daisy.”

  “Daisy?” Sloane echoed.

  Daisy Lopez used to be a forensic tech at the AVPD with Milo, and she had secretly been a member of a cult dedicated to Salgumel, Loch’s father and the god of dreams. Salgumel had gone mad in his dreaming, and the cult’s aim was to wake him up and remake the world into one where the old gods would rule again—by destroying it.

  And the cultists weren’t alone.

  There were old gods who wanted Salgumel to rise so they could reclaim what they’d lost.

  Sloane and the other members of the Sages Club had already defeated two of Salgumel’s sons, Loch’s older brothers, for having the same nefarious desires as the cult. It was how Sloane had become a Starkiller, having been given a sword of pure starlight from Great Azaethoth himself, to strike the gods down and save the world.

  But every time was getting harder.

  The cult was growing, and they had no idea when any of them would strike next. They didn’t know how many gods were in league with Loch’s brothers, but they had to plan for the worst. After the cult’s last attempt to wake Salgumel had failed, Daisy had vanished along with Jeff Martin, the cult’s leader.

  If she was back, that meant nothing but trouble.

  “Yeah,” Milo confirmed. “The newest victim drowned in a hotel, and we got a pretty clean shot of her going into the room and never leaving. I’m, like, 98 percent sure it’s her. Chase and Merrick think so too.”

  Detectives Elwood Q. Chase and Benjamin Merrick were also members of their little Sage club. Chase was mortal, but Merrick was actually Gordoth, the Sagittarian god of justice and Loch’s uncle. Like Loch, Merrick used a mortal body as his vessel to hide in plain sight from the world.

  They were partners at the AVPD and in their personal life, Chase having been quite proud of himself for taking “the Untouched” title from Merrick a few months ago.

  “Any idea how she’s making people… drown?” Sloane asked.

  “No clue.” Milo sighed. “We were kinda hoping you could swing down here and take a peek? Use that magical, ahem, starlight of yours and see if you got any ideas?”

  “We will be expecting a consulting fee,” Loch declared. “We no longer accept personal checks unless you have two forms of identification.”

  “Wait, wait.” Sloane scoffed. “We can’t go anywhere. What are we gonna do with our little Panda Bear, huh? We can’t take her with us, and we can’t exactly drop her off at a normal day care center.”

  “Why?”

  Sloane stared at Loch.

  “Oh yes, right.” Loch grinned. “Tiny demigoddess with tentacles who likes fire in a world where most people assume the old gods are myths and sudden evidence to the contrary might cause mass panic?”

  “Yes.”

  Pandora giggled, and she then pulled off her bottle to coo, “Mafff panic!”

  Sloane resisted the urge to slap his own forehead.

  “Holy crap!” Milo gasped. “Was that Panda? Sweet little Panda Bear? Did she just talk?”

  “Yes. Yes, she did.” Sloane didn’t know whether to be proud or mortified by Pandora’s very first words.

  “No mass panic, young spawn,” Loch chided, one of his tentacles playfully booping her nose. “That is decidedly frowned upon in this house.”

  “Mafff panic!” Pandora declared as she swatted back at Loch’s tentacle. “Maff panic, maff panic!”

  “Ah! I know! I shall summon my sister!” Loch nodded. “She is more than capable of watching over our tiny godly spawn.”

  “Well….” Sloane reached over to pet Pandora’s curls.

  He had barely left her side since she was born—other than quick naps, quick runs to the store, and even quicker quickies with Loch—and he remained hesitant to leave her. If the cult was back, however, he knew they needed to help.

  Fate of the world and all that.

  “All right,” Sloane said. “As soon as Gal gets here, we’ll come. Just text me the address, okay, Milo?”

  “Cool!” Milo replied. “Will do! See you guys soon!”

  “Bye.” Sloane hung up with a sigh. There was a knot of dread in his stomach, but he did his best to ignore it. “Well, here we go again.”

  “Go?” Loch asked. “Where are we going?”

  “Going on another crazy adventure.” Sloane kept playing with Pandora’s hair. “Taking time off from working cases and being here at home has been… really nice.”

  “The midday naps spoiled you, didn’t they?”

  “They sure did.” Sloane chuckl
ed. “Could almost pretend everything was okay, you know?”

  “Well, even though we haven’t seen the cultists or any of my wayward relatives plotting, we know they’re still out there.”

  “I guess there was a part of me that hoped they’d just give up, as silly as that is. They’ve been so quiet… which now that I think about it has me more worried.”

  “Why, my sweet mate?”

  “Because it means they’ve probably been working on something big.” Sloane grimaced. “Like drowning people. Why? What possible purpose could that serve?”

  “I don’t know, but we will figure it out.”

  “Maff panic,” Pandora chimed in.

  “And you!” Sloane laughed, grinning down at her. “You, little lady, are the most perfect and wonderful thing in the world. I’d much rather be here with you, dealing with fires and whatever else you decide to get into.”

  “Mafffff panic!”

  “She’s talking. How is she already talking?” Sloane scooped her up from Loch’s arms, cradling her against his chest as he gave her back the bottle. “I swear that we’re gonna blink and she’s gonna be a teenager.”

  “That is certainly a possibility,” Loch mused, “but unlikely.”

  Pandora jerked her head away from the bottle and cried loudly.

  “Aw, baby girl,” Sloane cooed. “Hey. Hey, what’s the matter?” He tried to give her the bottle again, but she pushed it away with a frantic wail.

  “Oh, little spawn!” Loch fussed over Pandora with his tentacles, trying to comfort her to no avail. “What can we do, hmm? What’s wrong?”

  Pandora grabbed one of Loch’s tentacles and promptly chomped on it.

  “Ow.” Loch clenched his teeth together as he grumbled, “I am hardly an expert, but I do believe she might be hungry.”

  “But she won’t take her bottle,” Sloane protested.

  “Flesh! She hungers for flesh!”

  There was a knock at the door.

  “Gods, I hope that’s Galgareth.” Sloane passed Pandora over to Loch. “Here.”

  “Ah yes.” Loch made another pained face. “Put her closer to the source of nourishment. Good idea.”

  Sloane hurried over to the door and then opened it, sighing in relief when it was indeed Galgareth. “Hey! Thank you so much for coming so quickly! And for knocking.”