Kraken My Heart Page 6

  “Huh.” Grell peered into the forest. “How strange.”

  The noise stopped.

  “Your Highness?” Ghulk sounded tense. “Perhaps you’d be good enough to try portaling us back to the castle? We Eldress are quite resilient. The mortal probably won’t survive, but—”

  “Just a moment,” Grell said, taking a step toward the darkness. He seemed to be waiting for something.

  “Look, I’m with zombie-corn,” Ted pleaded. “Can we just get out of here?”

  A dark shadow came crashing through the trees and tackled Grell.

  “The fuck!” Ted shouted, watching in horror as the shadow dragged Grell off and out of sight.

  Ghulk neighed hysterically and galloped away.

  “Hey, hey!” Ted screamed furiously. “You big fuckin’ chicken My Little Pony reject motherfucker! Come back here!”

  The snarling got louder, and there were more shadowy figures slithering toward him. He didn’t see any sign of Grell, and he reached up to grab a glowing branch. He snapped it off, and the wood grew dark in his hands.

  Ted raised it above his head, taking a few practice swings as he barked, “Hey, fuckers!” He stood at the ready, determined not to go down without a fight. “Come get some!”

  There was a frantic chittering, and the shadows finally revealed themselves. They were the giant fish-worms Ted had seen before in court, like that Visseract guy.

  Their lower bodies were undulating worms, and they had too many arms. Their faces were like some horrible monstrous fish from deep in the sea, with gaping maws lined with giant fangs.

  “Why the fuck does everything here have fucked-up teeth?” Ted complained, bracing himself to swing as one of the worms came at him. He nailed it right in the side of the head, cheering as it went down.

  His victory was short-lived, however, as the worm quickly recovered. It was back up in seconds and sinking its teeth into Ted’s calf.

  “Owww, oh, you motherfucker!” Ted roared, blinded by pain as he frantically pounded the branch on the top of the worm’s head. “Fuckin’ let go, right now!”

  Another worm was coming right at him, and Ted knew he would be overwhelmed in seconds. He thought of the little boy, and his heart ached when a small hand tugged at his hip.

  A mighty roar suddenly shook the very bedrock and cast the entire forest into darkness as the trees shuddered. The worm that had been chewing on Ted’s leg let go and frantically tried to retreat, but it didn’t make it very far.

  A gigantic Asra, by the far the biggest one Ted had seen yet, was bounding through the trees and snapping them like twigs in its wake. It snatched up the fleeing worm in its jaws and bit it right in half.

  Ted staggered and fell, still clutching his branch and trying to staunch his bleeding with his other hand. He couldn’t look away, staring at the majestic beast tearing through the worms like they were all made of paper.

  Slowly, the trees’ glow was returning, and Ted could see that the beast who had come to his rescue had shining golden eyes.

  It was King Grell!

  His Asra body was sleek and black with faint slivers of gray behind his ears and around his eyes. His tentacles were all gilded and capped in gold, shining with dozens of glimmering beads and baubles.

  Even the ones on his tail were decorated, and his giant body was practically glittering as he ripped the worms into pieces.

  Ted backed up against a nearby tree, panting hard. He was getting dizzy, cold, and he could see where he’d left a trail of blood behind on the ground. It was getting harder to hold on to his branch, and he could hear a small whisper in his ear.

  “The library….”

  Groaning in pain, Ted dropped the branch and nearly fell over. He tried to clamp his hands over the bleeding wound in his leg, weakly wheezing, “The library? What… what about the library?”

  “It’s in the library… go….”

  Ted closed his eyes, and the sound of battle was fading away. He could hear a seagull squealing and the rumbling purr of the ocean.

  He knew it couldn’t be real, but that didn’t stop him from feeling sand beneath him or the warmth of sunlight on his face.

  Ted couldn’t even remember when he’d last been to the beach.

  How many years had it been…?

  “The library,” the little voice pleaded again. “It’s there….”

  “What’s… what’s there?”

  “Theodore?” Grell’s voice was snarling, terribly worried and urgent. “Oh no. No, no, no! Come on, darling. Wake up. Wakey, wakey, let’s go!”

  “Mmm…?” A cold and damp nose bumped Ted’s cheek. “Wahh….” He turned away from it. “Just… just five more minutes….”

  “Wake up! Please! You can’t go, darling! Not like this!”

  “But I have… I have to go get some sunscreen….” Ted’s eyes fluttered, vaguely aware of warm paws picking him up and the new feeling of soft fur all around him. Even though Grell was carrying him, Ted still felt like he was somewhere else.

  He was looking around in a bag at the beach, trying to find sunscreen. It was so warm and beautiful, an absolutely perfect day. He thought he saw the little boy running into the waves….

  But that couldn’t be right.

  How weird, he thought, right as he passed out.

  Chapter 5.

  WHEN TED woke up, he was snuggling something warm and soft. He wondered if he was dreaming. It was so cozy and comfortable, and he didn’t want to move. He held on to it, his fingers gliding through silky, sleek….

  Fur?

  “Hello, darling,” Grell’s voice greeted softly. “Hope you slept well.”

  Ted tried to jerk away and instantly regretted it, his entire body racked with a wave of pain when he tried to move. “Ohhh, fuck!”

  “Easy,” Grell soothed. “You’re safe. It’s all right now.”

  Judging by the familiar purple glow and the lack of doors, they were somewhere back in the castle. They were lying in a massive bed together, and Grell was still in his feline Asra body.

  Ted had been curled up in his front paws with his head against his broad chest, and he weakly fell back into that position. He wanted to blame the pain and exhaustion, but it was also so good to be held.

  He looked down and saw his leg was bandaged, blushing when he realized he was wearing a long tunic and nothing else. “Uh… thank you. You know, for saving me and all that.”

  “My pleasure.” Grell nudged Ted’s shoulder with his nose. “You’ve been asleep for almost an entire day. I was getting worried.”

  “Shit!” Ted gasped frantically. “The trial! No, fuck! What time is it? Is it moon whatever o’clock?”

  “Calm down,” Grell soothed. “The court granted an extension for the trial due to the circumstances. We now have until midnight two days from now.” He tilted his head. “Although yesterday is now technically today, I suppose. So, ah yes, midnight tomorrow. Again.”

  “Okay. That’s good. I mean, it’s not good that I’m still bein’ charged with this bullshit, but okay, awesome.”

  “Seeing as how it’s one o’clock in the morning, that gives you nearly a full forty-eight hours.” Grell paused. “Well, forty-seven, technically.”

  “It’s seriously that late?” Ted peered up at Grell curiously. “Have you… have you been watching over me? All this time?”

  “In a perfectly normal mostly non-creepy way, yes.”

  “D’awww,” Ted cooed, unable to resist teasing and laughing when Grell scrunched up his face. “Big ol’ tough kitty is a softie!”

  “The Vulgora are quite venomous,” Grell said stubbornly, ignoring Ted’s taunts. “Your leg should heal in a few hours, but the venom will take more time to work its way out of your system.”

  “That’s what those things were? Vulgora?”

  “Yes. Too bad Ghulk didn’t stick around to find out, the damn coward.” Grell scowled. “Would have loved to see them take a bite out of his ass.”

  “Why d
id the Vulgorans attack us?” Ted demanded, a lick of fear making his pulse flutter. “Were they trying to fuckin’ kill us?”

  “Calm down,” Grell said, his long tail curling around Ted. “They were definitely trying to kill us, but I don’t know why. This is tied to Mire’s death somehow. I’m sure of it.”

  “Did you, like, eh, leave any of them alive to interrogate them?”

  “No, I ate them.”

  “You what?”

  “I ate them.”

  “You ate them.”

  Grell lifted his big head and looked all around. “Is there an echo in here?”

  “You actually ate the worm guys?” Ted scoffed in disgust. “Is that a thing here? Eating people? How the fuck is that a thing?” He narrowed his eyes. “Wait, no! Better question! Why aren’t you on fuckin’ trial for totally murdering the crap out of those guys?”

  “It was obviously self-defense,” Grell replied. “They attacked us first.”

  “Wait a second!” Ted felt a spark of hope. “Couldn’t I just say that Mire attacked me and I had to kill him? Could that get me off?”

  “That’s preposterous,” Grell snorted. “He was clearly already dead when you got here, so that won’t work.”

  “That’s why I’m innocent,” Ted groaned as his hope fizzled and his head throbbed.

  “Now, as far as getting you off is concerned….” Grell flashed his teeth in a sly smile.

  Ted ignored him. “I can’t fuckin’ believe you ate all those guys. That’s fuckin’ gross and weird, and it sure woulda been nice to ask who fuckin’ sent ’em!”

  “I was a bit distressed when you didn’t wake up,” Grell grumbled like a scolded child, bowing his head back down. “I wasn’t thinking clearly.”

  “Well, I hope you get fuckin’ indigestion!” Ted tried to roll over and winced as another flash of pain shot through his body. “Ah, fuck!”

  “Be careful.” Grell pressed a giant paw against Ted’s chest to keep him from moving. “I told you, it’s going to take time. By Great Azaethoth’s damn horns, you’re going to hurt yourself, you stubborn little ass.”

  “Aw, didn’t know you cared so much, you fuckin’ jerk.” Ted grinned crookedly up at him. He laid a hand over Grell’s paw, and his heart skipped a few beats. He should have been terrified, cuddling with a giant cat monster, but all he could feel was a profound sense of happiness.

  He didn’t have to worry about his phone ringing at four o’clock in the morning to haul some poor deceased soul out of his bathroom and deal with a raging family who wasn’t expecting their loved one to die. There were no ghosts here harassing him for answers he didn’t have, and he couldn’t honestly remember the last time he’d slept so well.

  The depressing grind of his daily life had been replaced with a new sense of adventure and excitement, not to mention the surprisingly welcome advances of a very charming king who was equally alluring whether he was a cat or a man. Ted’s current situation was beyond insane, but he couldn’t shake the feeling that he was exactly where he was supposed to be.

  “I’d be quite bothered if anything was to happen to you,” Grell confessed, shuffling a little and looking away with a huff. “It’s not every day I have to defend someone in a murder case, you know.”

  “Right, and you’ve been doing such a bang-up job,” Ted snorted.

  “What? We have some exciting new leads!”

  Ted’s good feeling was quick to turn into annoyance. “Which are what exactly? Silas gave us more bullshit riddles! You ate everyone that attacked us! And I still don’t know what the hell a Kindress is!”

  “Settle down and I will tell you.”

  “I’m totally settled,” Ted protested. “I’m the very definition of fucking settled.”

  Grell did not look convinced.

  “Look, this is… this is fuckin’ scary,” Ted said with a long sigh. “One second I’m just hanging out, minding my own business, and now I’m here in fuckin’ Xenon. I didn’t even know any of this, any of you guys, were real.”

  “And now you’re knee-deep in it, hmm?” Grell tilted his head thoughtfully.

  “I’m chilling with a giant cat king, and fish people tried to kill me. Pretty sure my new permanent mental status is very confused and endlessly frustrated.” Ted started petting Grell’s paw and closed his eyes. “It beats the hell out of being on call and dealing with dead people, but this still kinda sucks.”

  “Don’t worry,” Grell said, bowing his head to tap Ted’s hair with his nose. “I do intend to see this through to the end and win your freedom.”

  “You know, you’re pretty nice when you wanna be.” Ted kept petting Grell’s paw, and he smiled when it tightened around him. “Kinda makes up for you eatin’ all those fish guys.”

  “Don’t tell anyone,” Grell whispered. “I have a reputation to uphold.”

  “Hmph.” Ted leaned his head back. “So, the Kindress? What was Silas talking about?”

  “All right, my darling Lucian friend, do you understand who Great Azaethoth is?”

  “Big head honcho god?”

  “Precisely,” Grell replied. “Most of the faithful believe that his first children were Etheril and Xarapharos, twins that propagated the entire pantheon of gods.”

  “But it was actually this Kindress?” Ted tried his best to follow along.

  “Yes. The true firstborn of Great Azaethoth was a child of pure starlight, but it died in his arms before it could take its first breath.”

  “Well, that blows.”

  “Azaethoth wasn’t too happy about it either. His grief was endless, and his tears threatened to drown the universe. A special fountain was built to contain them, hidden away in a secret place.”

  “A fountain full of… tears?” Ted made a face. “Sounds kinda salty. And gross.”

  “But very powerful,” Grell pointed out. “These are the tears of Great Azaethoth. Their magical potential is nearly endless, quite dangerous in fact, but they exist for a singular purpose.”

  “Which is what?”

  “To kill the Kindress.”

  “Wait, the star baby? I thought you said it already died!”

  “It did,” Grell scolded. “But Great Azaethoth is nothing if not a very persistent deity, and he keeps trying to resurrect his child.”

  “And then he has to kill it? With his own tears?” Ted was absolutely horrified. “What the fucking fuck?”

  “Some things are meant to be left alone,” Grell said with a sad smile, “but grief is a terrible disease. Great Azaethoth brings back his child to ease his mourning, but his pain corrupts the starlight inside it. It changes the child into a monster.

  “The Kindress becomes unstable, dangerous, and is born again only to die by its father’s hand before it can destroy the universe.”

  “That’s the most fucking depressing story I’ve ever heard,” Ted grumbled. “And I work at a funeral home. I know fuckin’ depressing shit.”

  “Yeah, it’s a real downer,” Grell agreed. “More importantly, it’s true. Sages get all bent out of shape when you start talking about the little star child, but it’s not a legend. It’s not some myth.”

  “And Silas is after it?”

  “Most likely. Amongst the Kindress’s many magical powers, it’s said that it can return life to the dead. Conversely, it also takes life from what’s already alive. Real fun.”

  “So she thinks she can use it to bring back Mire,” Ted mused.

  “Mmhmm.”

  “Where is this damn thing at?”

  “Last one should have popped up almost twenty years ago,” Grell replied, rolling his broad shoulders in a shrug. “Haven’t seen any trace of it. Could be hiding, could already be dead, who knows.”

  “But you said something about there being rumors?” Ted accused. “What do you know?”

  Grell drew his lips back and bared his fangs, chiding, “Clever little imp, aren’t you?”

  “Not really that clever, since you said it right in
front of me.” Ted scoffed. “Come on. Give.”

  “Fine!” Grell’s tail whipped in annoyance. “The Kindress is like Great Azaethoth. Always was, always is, and always will be. Its cycle of birth and death is absolutely endless and impossible to predict, but it seems to especially love dying right after a big ol’ fancy celestial event. We never know when it’s actually alive and bopping about, you see, but we do know when it dies.

  “Unlike other gods, the Kindress’s soul completely blacks out that bridge when it passes through. Takes months for it to light back up. Now, there was a pretty impressive celestial event nineteen years ago, perfect time for the Kindress to get itself murdered, but nothing happened. Another magnificent celestial event occurred last year with absolute nada.

  “And yet there are still some very strange things going down. Things that haven’t happened in centuries. Gods are waking up and walking Aeon again. By both of Great Azaethoth’s curly horns, gods are even being killed. Not to mention all the damn souls missing from the bridge—”

  “Souls missing?” Ted frowned, his mind tracking back to what Kunst had told him. It was too easy to get caught up in Grell, especially when he was being so kind, and Ted had nearly forgotten the warning. It made the current snuggling awkward, and he tried to pull away from Grell’s hold.

  Not that he had any reason to trust Kunst over Grell, but he’d never known a ghost to lie.

  His attempt to move sent a fresh wave of agony throughout his body, and he groaned. “Fuckkk, fuckity fuck fuck!”

  “What’s wrong?” Grell asked, clearly concerned and nosing at Ted’s shoulder.

  “Nothing! I mean, fuck! Ow, that fuckin’ hurts like hell!” Ted fussed, struggling to get comfortable as Grell wrapped him back up between his paws to keep him from moving. “Okay, can we cut back on kitty cuddles?”

  “You need to stop moving,” Grell scolded.

  “I’ll quit fuckin’ moving if you just, ugh, stop aggressively snuggling me with your big giant paws! Could you, you know, be, like, a dude again maybe?”

  “Fine,” Grell said, his body shrinking down and his sleek fur melting away until he was back in his human form.